A/N: Um…if anyone wants to use it for their site then go for it! Also this is
pre-slash…if I can get all my writings together and finish them, then there
might be a sequel to this! Also....i really don't liek this chapter but it's
kinda needed if I make a sequel to this.

// Well, here I am again. This time I’m writing in this bloody diary. It’s not
like it’s a magical dairy, which can respond back…NO, it’s a Muggle diary.
Thank goodness for that. I don’t think I could handle something like that, it
would probably say that I’m crazy and I need serious help. It’s true, I need
the proper assistance but I can’t. Amber told me I should do this. Amber
Chaffer is a sixth year Slytherin who should be in Hufflepuff. She is the most
kind-hearted person I’ve ever met before in my life.

She knows about everything in my life. From my father to my hopeless endeavor
named Ron. She understands that I’m a weak and hurt kitten instead of a snake.
I just wish Ron could see that. She knows about my mutilation. She says it
scares her because one of these days I could bleed too much and die. I would
never do that to her. I would never leave her. But it does cross my mind
sometimes, about how I could be staring at my wrists for too long and
then…POOF! That’s it. I’m worm chow.

I think that’s enough for right now. You’re not of much use to me right now.
Maybe when my life is more exciting, I’ll fill your pages up. So, goodbye for
now. //


I snap the book shut. I hope this can help with my problems. I sit in a
contemplative stupor until someone plops down next to me. Who could be up at
this hour? It’s 2 in the morning and it freezing down here in the dungeons.
Even the fire in front of me can’t seem to shake this veil of ice in the common
room.

“Hey tiger.”

I look over and see Amber sitting next to me. Of course it would be her. She
has this motherly aura about her. It’s almost like she has a sixth sense about
me. She always says that I’m like her little wayward child.

“Hullo, Amber.” I breathe as I snuggle into the blankets.

“What are you doing down here in the cold…in the dark…by yourself? Draco, let
me see your wrists.” Concern coated her every world.

All I can do is comply with her request. I sat there in silence as she
appraised my wrists. I feel like a child whose mother is making sure that their
“little one” has cleaned under their nails.

“Good. Don’t scare me like that again. Now, what were you doing down here?”

“Thinking and writing.”

“You actually listened to my suggestion about the diary? Whoa! Hell must be
freezing over.”

I laugh quietly. “I don’t know what to write. Everything I want to say sounds
so lame.”

“Well, that’s what a dairy is for. It’s a place for you to tell your deepest
secrets, to tell about your say…it’s a way for you to keep from building up
your emotions and one-day exploding.” Amber put her arm around me and I scooted
over to her.

“But what I have to say is stupid.” I mutter.

“Tell me and I’ll be the judge of that.”

“It’s of when I first met Ron.” I grinned into her shoulder.

“I want to hear it. I’ve always wondered about how long you’ve known him.”

“It was around the time Voldemort had went into hiding. Actually, it was about
four years later. I was about five years old and there was a party at the
Ministry of Magic. And as always mother was out shopping but I knew she was
with her seventeen year old lover. So, father had to take me with. When we got
there he dropped me off at the day care center for the littler children.

I was grateful. I would probably be out there with the adults, bored out of my
mind. I found a corner in the room where all the books were and began to read.
About an hour later, some kid came up to me and asked me if I was done with the
book. He had brown eyes and the reddest hair I’ve ever seen. I told him I
wasn’t. But he, then, thought of a wonderful idea: I could read the book to him
since I had already started it. I agreed and I read to him.”

“Before I could even finish he told me he was getting bored. I suggested we
play a game and I took out my fake magic wand. I wish you could have seen his
face light up. We played for hours until my father came to pick me up. He was
furious to find out that I was playing with that boy. I asked him why and he
yelled and screamed in front of the little boy. He said that he was one of
those poor wretches. He was a Weasley.

My father literally dragged me out of there but I hollered and kicked and
screamed that I wanted to stay; I didn’t care if he was a Weasley or not. It
was no use. As I looked backed, I noticed that the boy was crying. I felt so
horrible until he threw a book at the back of father’s head.”

“That’s so sweet. So you didn’t seem him until your first year at Hogwarts?”

“Yes. I thought about him everyday.”

“So. Why were you so mean to him?” she was obviously perplexed. “Why would you
insult the person you love?”

“I was afraid. Pathetic right?”

“No. I think it’s rather sweet. Now, does he remember you?” she whispered.

“I doubt it. Come on, let’s drop it, okay?”

“Sure. Have a good night.” Amber leaned over and kissed me on the forehead. She
went upstairs and I quickly followed not before I retrieved my diary.


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