Strip Poke
By Chaos and RED
RED: Hello, and welcome to Strip Poke!
Chaos: I'm your host, Chaos.
RED: And I'm your other host, RED.
Chaos: Here's how the game is played. We've taken a survey and asked questions to Pokemaniacs around the world. Now our contestants have to guess what the three most popular answers were for each question. If a contestant guesses the third most popular answer, they get to pick a team mate to remove an article of clothing. The second most popular answer is worth two articles of clothing, and the first most popular answer is worth three. The first team to be naked wins. Also, pairs of things (gloves, shoes) count as ONE article. Got it?
RED: Let's meet our contestants! On Team Rocket we have Jesse, James, Cassidy, Butch and Mondo. And competing against them will be Team Twerp: Gary, Ash, Misty, Brock and Tracey.
Chaos: Let's talk to Team Rocket first. Welcome to the game, TR! How are you all doing?
James: Great! I'm feeling really Lucky, Lucky!
Jesse: If I have to hear that stupid joke one more time...
Butch: ::Hack Hack::
Cassidy: We're doing much better, now that we're out of prison!
Mondo: I'm doing great! I hope that I come to America some day!
RED: You and me both, Mondo!
Chaos: OK, now let's talk with Team Twerp. Welcome to the show, Team Twerp! So, Ash, what's it like to be a gay youth in Japan today?
Ash: WHAT???? I'M NOT GAY!!!!
Chaos: Yeah, whatever Ash. So, Gary, how have things been with you?
Gary: Great! I just got done having a Pokemon battle. And, yes, I dominated Ash, yet again!
Chaos: ::giggle:: I bet you did! OK, let's start the game!
Misty: HEY! Aren't you going to talk to the rest of us???
Chaos: ....umm...no. Why?
Misty: But...
Chaos: On with the show!
RED: Here's our first category: Who is your favorite Pokemon? We have the top three answers up on the board. Team Rocket, you won the coin toss, so...
Tracey: There was a coin toss?
RED: Uh, Team Rocket, you won the coin toss, so you go first. What is your first guess, Mondo?
Mondo: Ditto?
Team Rocket members: Good answer! Good answer!
Chaos: Show me Ditto!
::BZZZ!::
Chaos: I'm sorry, Ditto is not on the board. The question goes to Team Twerp. Tracey?
Tracey: Venonat!
Team Twerp members: Good answer! Good answer!
RED: Show me...ugh...Venonat!
::BZZZ!::
RED: I'm sorry. Venonat is not on the board. Venonat is in a box reserved for hideous freaks that shouldn't exist!
Tracey: Wha-
Chaos: Butch, it's your turn. ::looking around:: Where's Butch?
Cassidy: He went outside to smoke a cigarette.
Chaos: Um, OK, I guess you're up, then, Cassidy.
Cassidy: I'll choose Raticate!
TR: Good answer!
Chaos: Survey says...
::DING!::
Chaos: Yes! Raticate is third on the list!
TR: WOO-HOO!
Misty: Who took this survey?
Chaos: Well...I voted on it several times...anyway, Cassidy, you got a correct answer, pick a team mate to remove an article of their clothing.
Cassidy: Look, Butch is back! I pick him!
RED: Oh Gods...
Butch: ::removes his gloves::
Chaos: See, that wasn't that bad! OK, TR goes again. Butch, since you missed your turn before, I'll let you go now.
Tracey: That's not fair!
Chaos: Hey, he needed a cigarette. I understand. Us smokers gotta stick together. Butch, who do you think is the most popular Pokemon?
Butch: Drowzee!
TR: Good answer!
RED: Show me Drowzee!
::BZZZ!::
RED: Nope, no Drowzee.
Chaos: There SHOULD be...
RED: Oh, quit your whining. OK, you're up, Team Twerp. Brock?
Brock: Vulpix?
Team Twerp: Good answer!
RED: Show me Vulpix!
::DING!::
RED: Yes! Vulpix is second on the board! Brock, you get to pick a team mate to remove two articles of clothing!
Brock: OK, let's see...ummm ::looking at the members of his team:: ...hmm...uhh...I pick...Cassidy!
Chaos: Someone from the other team? Can he do that?
RED: Let me check... ::flips through rule book:: Well, there's nothing that says he can't.
Cassidy: ::removes her gloves and boots::
Butch: Thanks, Brock!
::Team Twerp members whack Brock::
Chaos: OK, Team Twerp, you're still up. Ash?
Misty: Hey!!! I'm next!
RED: We SAID Ash!
Misty: ::grumble::
Ash: I know, Pikachu!
Chaos: Show me Pikachu!
::DING!::
Chaos: Yes! Pikachu is first on the board! Since you won the board, Ash, you get to pick a team mate to remove three articles of clothing!
Ash: OK, I pick...Gary!
Team Twerp: Huh??? Why Gary?
Ash: Uh...well.. you don't want to see Misty naked, do you?
Misty: HEY!!!
Gary: Makes sense to me! ::removes his shirt, shoes and pants::
RED: Chaos?... Chaos! You have to ask the next question!
Chaos: ::staring at Gary:: ...Yes...everyone loves questions... ::drool::
RED: Oh, to hell with it! Next category! Who's the best human character on Pokemon? Team Twerp, we're still on you. Gary?
Gary: Well, obviously, it's the greatest Pokemon master: Me, Gary Oak!
Team Twerp: Groan!
Ash: Good answer! Good answer!
RED: Survey says...
::DING!::
RED: Yes! Gary is the third most popular answer! Gary! You pick a team mate!
Gary: I pick Ash! ....I'm...trying to get him back for making me take my clothes off...yeah...
Ash: Uh, OK, whatever you say... ::removes his jacket::
Misty: OK, now it's MY TURN!
RED: Fine! Misty?
Misty: Misty the Mighty is the best character!
Team Twerp: ....
Misty: ::glares::
Team Twerp: Good answer!
RED: Yeah....show me Misty, I guess.
::BZZZ!::
RED: I'm sorry, Misty is OBVIOUSLY not on the board! Uh, Chaos, TR's back up, you wanna field this one?
Chaos: ::still staring at Gary:: ...Sure...everyone loves fields...
RED: Never mind... James, you're up.
James: I say...Jesse.
Audience: Awwww!
RED: Awww...I mean, show me Jesse!
::DING!::
RED: Yes! Jesse is second! James, you get to pick a team mate to remove two articles of clothing!
James: Again, I'll say Jesse!
Jesse: ::Glares at James and removes her jacket and shirt::
RED: ::stares at Jesse::
Tracey: Uh...guys? Are you two OK?
RED: Yes...every one is Jesse....OK....
Pikachu: PIKACHU!!!! ::thundershocks RED and Chaos to snap them out of it::
Chaos and RED: AHHHHH!
RED: OK, TR is still up. Jesse, the most popular character is..?
Jesse: Well, I've already been picked, so I'll have to go with...James?
Chaos: Survey says...
::DING!::
Chaos: Yes! James is the first most popular answer! You know what that means!
Jesse: ::gives James an evil look:: Yes, I most certainly do! James.
James: Yes m'am. ::removes his jacket, shirt and gloves::
RED: OK! Next category! Who is the worst Pokemon? Team Rocket is still up. We're back to Mondo.
Mondo: Spinarak?
RED: Show me Spinarak!
::DING!::
Chaos: OK! Spinarak is third! Mondo, pick a team mate.
Mondo: Jesse!
RED: I LOVE YOU, MONDO!!!
::James whacks Mondo upside the head in jealousy. Jesse removes her bra::
RED: ::staring:: Well, that does it for me. It's been nice working with you, Chaos.
Chaos: Pikachu, do something!
Pikachu: PIKA!!! ::Zap!::
RED: ...Nope, that's not gonna do it.
Chaos: ...Hey, doesn't Jesse have gloves?
RED: SHUT UP! ::goes into drooling trance::
Chaos: OK, moving on, then...Butch, you're up. Butch? Where's Butch?
Cassidy: He went out to smoke a cigarette.
Ash: AGAIN???
Gary: OK, this really isn't fair, this is the second time in like five minutes! You have to let us go!
Chaos: Oh, how can I say no to such a cute...half naked guy? OK, since Butch isn't here, the question goes to Team Twerp. Tracey?
Tracey: Venonat?
::DING!::
Chaos: Yes! Venonat is the second worst Pokemon! Pick a team mate for two articles!
Tracey: I pick Professor Oak!
Chaos: Umm...he's not here, Tracey. Pick someone who's actually on your team.
Gary: ::leans over and whispers something to Tracey::
Tracey: ::shoving money into his pocket:: Uh, yeah, I pick Ash!
Ash: Huh?
Gary: Well, he clearly picked you, Ash. You know the rules.
Ash: Uh..OK. ::removes his shirt and hat::
Chaos: Hey, I know! ::grabs RED and spins her around to face Ash::
RED: AHHHHHHHHH!!!! What the hell are you doing???
Chaos: I'm not doing this show myself, ya know! OK, Brock is up. Least popular Pokemon, Brock?
Brock: Drowzee?
RED: Show me Drowzee!
::BZZZ!::
::Three bottles simultaneously hit Brock in the head::
Brock: Ahh! What the hell?
Chaos, Cassidy and Butch: Nothing.
RED: OK, back to Team Rocket...breasts...I mean, Cassidy?
Cassidy: Let's see...Mr. Mime?
Chaos: Show me Mr. Mime!
::DING!::
Chaos: Yes! That damned little freak was the first most popular answer! Cassidy, you pick a team mate for three articles!
Cassidy: Butch is back again! I choose him!
Butch: ::removes his shoes, shirt and pants::
RED: Alright. Next category: Who is the stupidest human character on Pokemon? What is your answer, TR's James?
James: That commie bitch, Officer Jenny!
RED: Show me that commie bitch Officer Jenny!
::DING!::
Chaos: That commie bitch is second on the board! Way to go, James!
RED: James, If you pick Jesse again, I will pay you anything you want. And I mean anything!
Jesse: James, who could hurt you more, me or RED?
James: Hmm...I guess I could pick Cassidy...
Jesse: .... ::mumbles and takes off her gloves and boots::
RED: I LOVE YOU, CASSIDY!!!
Chaos: Jesse, you're up.
Jesse: Man, it's cold in here! OK, umm...stupid photo boy?
RED: Can you be more specific?
Jesse: Todd.
Chaos: Survey says...
::DING!::
Chaos: Yes! Todd is annoying and stupid! And also third on the list! Jesse, you pick.
Jesse: ::snaps her fingers::
James: ::removes his boots::
Chaos: We're back to Mondo.
Mondo: How about...that stupid Richie kid?
Chaos: Show me Richie!
::BZZZ!::
RED: Nope, as irritating as he was, he's not on the board. Back to Team Twerp. Ash?
Misty: Damn it! You skipped me again!
RED: Misty, dear, don't make me send you to visit Venonat.
Misty: ...
Chaos: Ash, worst character?
Ash: Umm..I'll try...Misty!
Misty: WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH ALL YOU PEOPLE???
RED: Show me gay ass short bus out of the mix Misty!
::DING!::
RED: Yes! Short Bus The Mighty is first on the board! Ash, you pick! And remember, if you pick someone who has less than three articles of clothing left, you must make up the difference by removing some of your own clothes.
Chaos: And if you know what's good for you, you'll pick a certain someone with less that three articles of clothes on!!! If you catch my drift.
Ash: Well, Gary, you heard the woman!
Gary: ::removes his boxers::
Ash: ::removes his pants and shoes::
Chaos: Gary...naked...
RED: Chaos, my friend, you must admit, it doesn't get too much better than this. Well, actually...
Chaos: Next...um...
RED: Next category: Who is the cutest couple on Pokemon? I believe It's Gary's turn!
Gary: I can't contain it any longer! Me and Ash! ME AND ASH!
Chaos: Show me Gary and Ash!
::DING!::
Chaos: Yes, Gary and Ash is the second most popular answer!
Ash: I'll just slip out of these... ::removes his gloves and boxers::
::Ash and Gary drop to the ground in a make out frenzy::
Misty: AHHHHHHH!!! ::starts pounding on her Psyduck in rejected frustration::
Judges: Misty is disqualified for illegal beating of a Pokemon!
::A trap door opens under Misty and she falls down a hole::
Psyduck: Psy-y-y-y! (Translation: Kick ass!)
RED: OK, we're back to Tracey. Tracey, cutest couple?
Tracey: Me and Professor Oak!!!!
RED: Ew! No! That's not on the board!
Tracey: You didn't even check!
RED: I don't have to! Ugh, back to Team Rocket. Butch, your turn.
Butch: Me and Cassidy!
RED: Show me Butch and Cassidy!
::DING!::
Chaos: Yes! Butch and Cassidy is third on the list!
Butch: Come on, Cassidy! Off with that dress!
::Cassidy throws off her dress and pushes Butch to the floor and they start making out::
RED: Well, since Cassidy is busy, we're back to James.
James: Well, gee, this is a hard one. Let's see...Ash and Misty?
Entire room: ???
James: HA! Got ya! Obviously, me and Jess!
Chaos: Show me Jesse and James!
::DING!::
Chaos: Yes! Jesse and James is the most popular answer! And since this is, uh, a bonus category...yeah, that's the ticket...Team Rocket gets to remove an extra article of clothing!
James: Well, isn't that convenient. ::removes his pants and boxers::
Jesse: ::removes her skirt and underwear:: Man, it's cold in here!
James: Yeah, we better huddle together for warmth.
::Jesse and James fall to the ground in a make out frenzy::
Chaos: Well, that takes care of all the important players. Everyone but poor Mondo.
Audience: Aww...
::Suddenly, the studio doors swing open::
Domino: Mondo! I've searched every where for you!
Mondo: Domino!
::Mondo and Domino run to each other and drop to the floor in a make out frenzy::
RED: Well, looks like Brock and Tracey are the only ones left.
::Brock and Tracey look at each other. After a moment they both shrug and drop to the floor in a make out frenzy::
RED: Well, I guess the game is over.
Chaos: But who won?
RED: Well, Chaos, I like to think that WE are the real winners, don't you?
Chaos: Agreed! Thanks for joining us, and we'll see you again next time on...
Audience: STRIP POKE!!! ::Cheering::