Palletshippers Rule!
Chapter Two
By Ketsuban

Murgatroyd had been missing meetings for quite awhile; for so long, in fact, the president of the Eldershipping Brigade had contemplated cutting him from the roster. What could possibly be more important than holding up the fort against this new evidence against Eldershipping?

The president sighed as he opened his mail. Another copy of "Tabidachi," translated by some bastard Diamondshipper. There was no denying it, not with this obviously canon evidence; Oak was not Ash's father. It could quite possibly be Giovanni, Lance, Mew, or even a random, unknown trainer; but not Professor Oak.

The president sighed once more and slammed his head into his desk. Why was this happening?

---

Done. Finally, it was done.

There was no refuge for those who were sick of this. Everyone had been forced to take a side, even those who previously had despised Pokemon and everything related to it. There was no safe haven for anyone tired of the fighting.

Until now.

Murgatroyd peered through his telescope. There it was, the planet he'd had his eye on for some time now. He'd named it Yukihana; it was the fourth planet from Alpha Centauri, the second-closest star to the Earth. It wouldn't be in such an ideal position for long; possibly only a week. If he wanted to get to Yukihana, he'd have to leave soon. But not alone, oh no.

Murg picked up his telephone and dialed Archaic's cell phone. He knew his friend was on his way to a raiding of the Palletshipper HQ; maybe he could stop him before it was too late.

---

"This meeting of Infernoshippers Forever will come to order!"

Chris Karate banged his plastic squeaky gavel on the table. The one other member, Kero, came to order.

"Does the treasurer have an update to make?" Chris asked. "Yes, sir, I do. All our money has been spent on the bomb." He gestured to a ball of duct-tape, wire, rubber, and several plastic D3's. "We can make more at our weekly garage sale next month."

"Permission to speak," Kero requested. "Neither of us can cook. We suck at it. I don't know how much longer I can keep telling my sister that I need the food for our meetings; she'll find out soon that there's only two of us."

"Good point, Kero," Chris replied. "Noted. Does the secretary have the minutes from our last meeting?"

Kero handed Chris his notebook. It was full of his left-handed chicken scratch.

Chris nodded. "Very good, Kero. You're promoted to President."

"But... you're President."

"And I am promoted to Supreme Ruler."

---

"Moshi-moshi?" Archaic whispered into his cell phone. He was leading the group of Pokeshippers through the system of air ducts at PI HQ.

"Arch, it's done! I've finished it!"

"Look, Noah, I've told you to stop bugging me about this, okay?"

"But it's true. From what my calculations have told me, the atmosphere and climate of Yukihana is just perfect for human beings! Think of it, Archaic; a world free of ship-wrought hate."

Archaic sighed. "I'll talk it over with my members. Okay?"

"But I don't think we should include only Pokeshippers."

"You can speak with the Eldershippers and Questshippers, okay?"

"What about opposing factions? They're not all bad, from what I've heard. I've met some decent Transformshippers."

"Talk to whoever you want!" Archaic hissed, shutting his phone off. Unfortunately, he had been heard by one of the Palletshippers in the room beneath himself.

---

"So, Archaic, we meet again."

Archaic was in an interrogation room decorated with poster-sized fanarts of Ash and Gary making out.

"Yeah, I guess we do."

"Why did you come here?" ChaosRocket demanded.

"Duh. To bomb the place."

Chaos sighed. "What did we ever do to you, Arch?"

"You existed."

"You Twerpshippers are the ones who started this whole war!" Chaos shot back. "Because of you, the Pokemon series went off the air, and now no one will know what ships are right and wrong!"

"Except for the last ones standing," Archaic sneered.

--- The others were in a holding cell; Ketsuban, Brandon, Ash's Baby Lapras, Kim, Jigglypuff, Crystal, Barb, Blue Hiker, and Wendy.

"You think we can get outta here?" Brandon wondered, looking around the cramped room.

"This is a whole new reason cell phones should be banned," Ket muttered.

"I'm so scared!" ABL cried, glomping onto Hiker. "What are we gonna do?!"

--- Murg sighed. Right about now, according to his intuition, Arch and the others would be captured.

He drove through the deserted city streets toward PIHQ. In the backseat were two of his friends, Wendy and Impereon. Wendy was one of the "decent Transformshippers" he had mentioned, and Impereon sometimes identified himself as a Transformshipper, though he didn't truly support any ship. Both of them had signed on to Murg's project back at the beginning.

"Here we are," Murg announced. "Remember the plan?"

The other two nodded.

The three marched into the building.

"FBI." Murg flashed a fake FBI badge he'd gotten a while ago. "We're here to speak with the captives."

"Um..." The woman at the front desk fumbled with a telephone. "Ch-Chaos-sama? There's some FBI people here who..."

"Uh... send them in," Chaos replied, sounding slightly confused.

Murg, Wendy, and Impereon proceeded to the interrogation room after the woman at the desk gave them directions.

Then the scene ended on a fade-out and eerie music playing...

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