Palletshippers Rule!
Chapter Five
By Ketsuban

Someone once said that in space, no one can hear you scream.

That someone never had to ride in a spaceship with Kaz Ohki.

"Goddammit, Kaz, shut up!" Chaos cried, stuffing her hands into her ears.

Almond took this opportunity to jump out of the ship into outer space; but he didn't die because he's not really real.

---

"The first meeting of the Outer Space Branch of Infernoshippers Forever will come to order!" Kero banged the squeaky gavel on the desk. "I am pleased to announce that we have a new member!"

Sciz waved. "Hi."

"YAY!" Kero and Chris exclaimed.

"I heard you had a bomb," said Sciz.

"Yeah, but Arch wouldn't let us bring it," Chris whined.

Sciz held up a piece of ABC gum. "Let's make a new one!"

"Okay!"

---

Murg spent all day, if you can measure time in space in days, staring through his telescope at Yukihana and adjusting the navigation coordinates every so often. Arch informed him every five minutes that he needed a life, but Murg pointed out that anyone who had so much time to spare that he could tell someone every five minutes to get a life, needed a life himself.

So Arch decided to learn how to cook.

"Soup's up!" he called on the intercom one evening (if you can measure time in space in evenings) after he'd finished his masterpiece. Everyone hurried to the mess hall.

"I'm scared," Meggie whispered to Chaos as they sat down. Chaos nodded.

Arch came into the room carrying a huge tray with a lid on it. He set it down on the table and removed the lid to reveal...

"HOT DOGS?!" everyone exclaimed.

"YAY!" The InfernoShippers started pigging out.

Ketsuban gingerly took one hot dog in her hand. "Ew, it has mustard and ketchup and relish on it."

"Or as we Australians call it, CATSUP," Hiker corrected her, swallowing one whole.

Several seconds passed. Then Hiker turned green and excused himself from the table, holding his stomach.

Ketsuban threw her hot dog against a wall. It exploded, leaving a huge gaping hole that led into outer space. Almond randomly drifted along and plugged the hole with his body, despite the fact that he didn't really exist.

Little Pikachu snuck off before anyone noticed her, carrying and armful of hot dogs with her.

---

Several days passed. Ketsuban was designated ship's cook, because the writer doesn't know if anyone else is a good cook, but she is. Kind of.

Kero was designated ship's captain, but in name only: It was really on autopilot with the coordinates input by Murgatroyd.

Arch kept to himself, sulking and plotting evil.

Chaos kept to herself, plotting evil against the PokeShippers. Okay, she wasn't really. She was writing AAGL fics, but the first thing sounded cooler.

And Rob was there, but he fell into outer space too. Only he died, because he IS real.

Murg continued to be mobbed by random unnamed female shippers, who thought it was SOOOOOO cool that he built a spaceship.

And Impereon went around dressed in a garbage bag, complaining about stuff.

---

A couple of weeks later, Yukihana came into view on Murgy's telescope.

"Kewl!" Poke exclaimed, sitting on Ketsuban's head and waving a flag with Ash's head on it.

"Cool!" Pallet exclaimed, sitting on Ketsuban's shoulder and waving a flag with Ash's HEAD on it.

Ket glared at Pallet. "I am so glad I'm the only one who can see you."

She was standing at the stove in the kitchen, making Chef Boyardee (TM) Ravioli. Hey, I said she could cook. I didn't say WHAT she could cook.

Poke sighed dreamily. "A koliny uv pokeshpipers wlil begnin on yookeehana! N AAML will rain supreem!"

"In your dreams!" Pallet exclaimed.

"U R still a aamler, ne, ketsuban-chan?" Poke inquired.

"Nah."

Poke gasped.

"Pallet-san here came into my dreams one night and showed me the error of my ways."

"I brainwashed her." Pallet grinned.

"YOU DUMMY!" Poke vanished in a huff.